


Things We Lost To The War

by maikurosaki



Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Byakuya is quite observant, Ichigo needs a hug, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-10
Updated: 2016-04-10
Packaged: 2018-06-01 13:03:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6520879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maikurosaki/pseuds/maikurosaki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The six years since the end of the Winter War brought a new routine in Byakuya's life. Until his keen sense of observation makes him notice that the saviour of Soul Society is far from living his well-deserved happily ever after. Reluctantly, he begins to help Ichigo overcome his fears and heal his wounds, while avoiding acknowledging his own feelings. It doesn't work for long.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things We Lost To The War

**Things We Lost To The War**

 

 

The night was the colour of darkened ash, covering almost peacefully Soul Society when Captain Byakuya Kuchiki eventually made his way home. It had been a particularly brutal day with examples of ineptitude throughout the entire day, and the only consolation that he had as he slowly took a walk towards his manor was that the day had finally concluded. The new recruits were completely useless, Abarai had been more obnoxious than usual and the mountains of paperwork that needed to be filled had amounted to dangerous proportions. The quietness of his mansion enveloped him like a warm cape and he felt the headache ebb away for a few moments to let him breathe.

 

The guards stood silent, mere shadows in the darkness of the night, their breaths covered by the soft song of the crickets. They didn't make any gesture to acknowledge his presence, yet their eyes followed him vigilantly, aware of the smallest spike in his spiritual energy. At the entrance, two servants bowed respectfully and he immediately sighed in relief. With a bit of luck, he would have a quiet dinner, solve some small complaints from the council and he would be off to bed before midnight.

 

"Good evening, Master Kuchiki." Kagure, the master of his servants said respectfully bowing a little bit before his piercing eyes ultimately settled on his master's form. "Will you be serving dinner first?"

 

"Good evening. Yes. The weather is exceptionally beautiful tonight so I will serve it in the western living room. Ensure that the windows are opened and that I can have my tea on the porch."

 

"Very well, Master. Should I add a plate for Captain Kurosaki?"

 

Well, the name definitely didn't improve his mood. Byakuya sighed unseemly for him, pinching his nose. The orange haired captain had made a habit of appearing unannounced lately in his mansion, exceptionally since Rukia had the audacity of giving him free reign to use their library. His presence annoyed Byakuya greatly for it was a constant reminder of those dark feelings that the heir of the Kuchiki clan was trying to bury deep within himself, possibly even deeper.

 

"Is he here then?" The displeased tone made the servant wince as uncertainty flickered on his face.

 

"Yes, sir." He bowed a little. "He is in the library pouring over some manuscripts. We brought him some tea but he didn't want to eat anything."

 

"I see." Byakuya looked pensively towards the room.

 

"Master?" Kagure mumbled after a while unsure how to proceed.

 

"Very well, settle a plate for him too."

 

The servant bowed again and he was just about to retire when he hesitantly turned back to Byakuya.

 

"Is there another matter that needs to be discussed?"

 

"No, sire. I do apologize if I interfere in something that it is not my business. I am doing this just because your respected sister is best friends with Captain Kurosaki."

 

"Could you care to proceed quicker, Kagure?" Byakuya impatiently interrupted which in turn made the servant flinch again. The old man though was dear to Byakuya for he had been in his service more than he would care to remember. He frowned seeing now that the signs of old age were becoming more pronounced on the servant and he regretted his harsh words. This made him choose carefully his next words."What is it that troubles you?" His tone was lighter and it didn't escape to the old man. "Did captain Kurosaki behave disrespectfully in my house?"

 

"No, sire, on the contrary. Please, don't misunderstand. Captain Kurosaki has always been kind to us, sometimes respectful to a fault."

 

"Then?"

 

"Lately, sire, he hasn't looked good." The servant's eyes turned even gentler when he spoke next. "He always has a kind word for us, but recently he has looked very tired sire. Today he barely drank his tea, although he always asks for at least three cups. He speaks with us and asks us about our health. But he has been quiet for a while now and he has dark shadows around his eyes. We were just wondering whether everything was all right with the captain or he has been overworked at the office."

 

"It is not your business to ask these questions."

 

"I understand, sire, but-" The servant opened his mouth a couple of more times, however no words got out, except for a soft look into his eyes, which said more than a thousand words.

 

"Yes, I see." Since the Winter War, Kurosaki was regarded as a hero not just by the entire shinigami squad, but also by the people that he had protected. Even now, after six years since the end of the old world and the horrible war, and his permanent relocation to Soul Society, Kurosaki was still highly loved by people. Rukia told him stories of visits in Rukongai where the man received flowers and fruits and a cup of sake, whatever poor people could offer. And how the newly-minted captain had only kind words for the people, always stopping to have a chat with them and ask about their health.

 

Not just that. He heard stories about people constantly stopping by his office or training grounds to ask for advice, or a chat or in Kenpachi's case, to have a fight with him. They were all in awe with him and for good reason, at least Byakuya could admit that. But the attention had to be overbearing for the young man at some point. It was unusual though that it took a servant to notice Ichigo's changes and not his sister or Abarai.

 

"I will answer to this question solely because I know you keep him in high regard. I am afraid I do not know what is the matter with captain Kurosaki for we are not close, therefore he would not confide in me if there was any issue. My sister would be the most indicated person in that regard. However, I appreciate your concern."

 

"Thank you, sire."

 

"Now could you proceed with the arrangements and I will make sure Kurosaki eats more than he has in days?"

 

"Yes, sir. It shall be done."

 

The servant retired with a shy smile on his lips which remained unnoticed to his master who proceeded towards the library.

 

There Kurosaki was reading so concentrated that he didn't even notice Byakuya's presence. The soft glow of the lamps made the orange locks glow like a halo and for a moment Byakuya felt the impulse to pass his fingers through his seemingly soft locks. He fisted his fingers for fear he might actually do it. He was about to leave the young man alone when he noticed something that made him frown. Ichigo was in fact not reading. His eyes weren't moving and his hands laid without too much energy next to the book. He was staring off into the distance and his usual scowl disappeared leaving way to a massive frown.

 

It was a rare sight indeed to see Ichigo like this. He seemed … resigned. Byakuya was so used to perceive Ichigo as a permanent ball of energy and words that he didn't know how to react to this sight.

 

The young man was sitting in a high chair with his arms resting feebly next to his body, the book still in his lap. The orange hair was cut short although at the beginning of his life in Soul Society, he let it grow a bit longer. With vexation, Byakuya distinctly remembered the almost inbred need to touch those soft locks, to pass his fingers through them, or maybe just to ruffle them. At the captain meetings, he used to stare at the young captain, who, knowingly or not, would always choose a place in front of Byakuya. He would keep his face completely blank, making sure to pay attention to what it was discussed. Nonetheless, he kept pondering on the colour and the texture of Ichigo's hair. And even now, Byakuya was perplexed as to why for a time was so obsessed with this man's presence in their life.

 

Perhaps because he slowly became a permanent fixture of his life through his friendship with Rukia. At first, he would come at the Kuchiki mansion to ask for Byakuya's advice and counsel when there was an issue within his company. Kurosaki had been very reluctant in accepting his position as captain to the fifth division and the progress had been slow and not without hardships. But then Rukia started to invite him knowing fully well that nobody would dare to bother him at the Kuchiki house. And now sometimes he would find out that the young captain had come and gone every now and then. But never when Byakuya was at home and never in his office.

 

The older captain frowned even more. It seemed so strange to him that it was the servants that have noticed the change in him and not his sister. Or perhaps Rukia had noticed the change but didn't dare to discuss it with him. It was a very well known fact that although they respected each other, Ichigo and Byakuya had a mutual disinterest in each other's persons. What lay inside his soul was another matter and nobody's business.

 

"Good evening, Kurosaki." He mumbled startling the young man, who guiltily looked up.

 

"Yo, Byakuya! What's up?"

 

"I frankly don't understand how you managed to get through your life with such a flagrant lack of manners."

 

"It's a gift." The young man smirked and then closed the book. He got up and craned his neck. "Oh man, it feels so late already."

 

"Perhaps because it is late. Please join me for dinner."

 

"Thanks, but I still-"

 

"Although, I worded it as an invitation, it was not so." Byakuya's voice made the young man shake his head. "Kagure is already setting the table. It is a beautiful evening and I shall enjoy it in spite of your presence."

 

"Then why are you inviting me? Sorry, _ordering_ me to join you if I am going to spoil it for you."

 

"Perhaps because I am a glutton for punishment." They looked at each other knowingly and then walked towards the western living room. "Or perhaps because I do not want to hear my sister complain that I didn't even provide you with a dinner while you were under my roof."

 

"Oh, yes, heaven forbid, the rumours start to pile up that the Kuchikis are stingy and they don't even care about the saviour of Soul Society." It was unusual to notice that Kurosaki's sarcasm was mostly directed at his own person and not at Byakuya, which confused him even more.

 

"It is my duty to care about the guests in my house and you are a guest, whether you like it or not. Did you enjoy the book that you were reading?"

 

"What?" Warm chocolate-brown eyes looked guiltily around. "Ah, yes, the book. Well, actually it was more in interest of work. But I do have a couple of your volumes at the quarters. I will make sure to bring them back to you as soon as I finish with them."

 

"See that you do."

 

"Oh, man, why are you so uptight? Have I not proved that I am a man of my word?"

 

"Kurosaki, your manners are appalling. Do try to refrain yourself from addressing me in such manner. Also bare in mind we will have tea on the porch after dinner."

 

"Shouldn't I like be invited or something? Give me the option to say no?" Ichigo rolled his eyes at the older man, but Byakuya had long grown accustomed to his antics so he didn't react as he finally sat at the table.

 

"Your answer is of no importance for me.. This is final and settled." If the young man was surprised by Byakuya's strong reaction, he didn't express anything and they began eating in silence. If truth be told, no one was more surprised by the sudden need to protect this orange brat that kept on pestering him than Byakuya Kuchiki himself. There was something in those deep brown eyes that appealed to a concealed place within Byakuya's soul, a place that he had buried long before Hisana's death. However, in that moment, as the other captain began to tell a story of what happened at his division, Byakuya basked into his presence there.

 

Though he did notice the changes that the elderly servant was talking about. While Ichigo did talk animately about what was happening under his command, his usual warm eyes seemed dulled with a sort of pain that was almost palpable. There was something different about Kurosaki, something that appealed and made him frown at the same time. The feeling was more than familiar and yet he couldn't name it for fear old demons might come back to life.

 

"You will be a guest of this house tonight." He announced coldly as soon as there was a bit of silence.

 

"Excuse me?" There was a piece of rice settled in the corner of Ichigo's mouth as he gaped at Byakuya. The look was completely unbecoming and unappealing and any other 'un' words that would have better described the view that he had, and yet in that moment Byakuya wanted nothing more than to reach for the young man and lick that bit of rice. He was perfectly sure that he was going to taste something akin to wild fires or crisp mornings.

 

"I do hate to repeat myself, Kurosaki," he swallowed hard and suddenly the thought of that tea seemed rather appealing, a most peculiar heartburn unsettling his insides, "you will sleep tonight in one of the guest rooms and I do not want to hear any complaints."

 

"No, thanks. I'd rather watch paint dry." Ichigo replied as soon as he managed to close his mouth, still awed, but he wasn't aware that tonight Byakuya wasn't going to take any answer like that.

 

"I did not invite you to it, I merely told you. And you should do it for practical reasons."

 

"Practical reasons?"

 

"You are tired and the middle of the night is almost upon us. Also, you are far from looking like a commander in chief if your squad sees you like this."

 

"Are you going to continue offending me or will you just shut up so I can accept the offer? Not that I need another reminder of my shortcomings." His orange locks changed colour again as the young soul reaper shook his head, his air completely changed.

 

The last words resonated in Byakuya's heart. It was the way Ichigo looked away when he uttered them, bitter taste and poison. He couldn't explain to this day why he leaned, except he did and gently cupped Ichigo's right cheek. The time possibly froze. He wouldn't be able to say what possessed him to continue as Ichigo stared at him in disbelief, except he did. The young man was frozen in his place as Byakuya's thumb gently drew half circles on the cheek. Ichigo's failed attempts at speaking would make Byakuya smile any other day, if it weren't for the depth of the gesture within his own very soul.

 

After a few seconds, he took his hand away and cleared his voice.

 

"You do not have shortcomings, Kurosaki Ichigo." His voice sounded commanding although he was feeling less than. "Believe me, I have searched for them extensively." Ichigo's eyes widened and there was a faint blush colouring his cheeks, making Byakuya feeling rather pleased. "Now please, stop looking for praise and let us have tea."

 

The young captain blushed even more but when words failed him, he seemed not to dare answering Byakuya back, so they moved in silence on the porch letting the light in the room slowly fade. The night seemed peaceful in a way it hadn't for the longest of times and the Kuchiki heir knew that they all owed everything to the mere kid next to him. For what were Ichigo's years compared to his if no more than an infinitesimal speck in eternity? And yet his power and perseverance had brought justice and peace in Soul Society. And changes.

 

Especially changes. But apparently no one was changed more than Ichigo.

 

"Thank you."

 

The words were mumbled into the night, but they still pierced the comfortable veil of silence and made Ichigo look surprised again, as if not sure that he had intended to speak them. And there seemed to be a desire to ask more about them but in the end nothing was spoken. They drank their tea in peace without other interruptions and Byakuya was stunned to see how much he enjoyed the companionship of the younger captain, the way he seemed poised and yet he could still stay relaxed and silent.

 

Ichigo was mature, too mature for his age.

 

"Your guest room is ready." Byakuya muttered after a servant slowly nodded, and the soft glow of the torches in the garden caught again the orange locks, softening the tough edges of Ichigo's face.

 

"Thank you, Byakuya. I really appreciate it."

 

"You are welcome. Tomorrow morning, Kagure will awake you and we will have breakfast together."

 

"Are you sure you want to start your day like this?" The jab made Byakuya's frown deepen.

 

"I appreciate your concern but rest assured that I will do my best to educate you so that you can acquire the proper manners in having a meal with me."

 

"Of course, what was I thinking?" Ichigo rolled his eyes, but then smiled softly to him, the torches casting shadows over his eyes. "Good night."

 

"Good night." Byakuya followed Ichigo's form with his eyes, and then proceeded to his own room. The young man was driving himself ragged. If he continued like this, it wouldn't take long until he would have to visit captain Unohana's division. As he prepared for bed, Byakuya looked into the mirror, wondering whether he was going crazy with this concern for Kurosaki. Still he never slept so good knowing that the other captain was there.

 

If someone noticed his sudden interest in captain Kurosaki, nobody dared to make the observations public. But inevitably at least a couple of days a week, captain Kurosaki would sleep at the Kuchiki estate, and the rest of the days either Byakuya himself or Abarai or Rukia would take him out of the division to eat or just enjoy himself by admiring nature or nimble on some fruit while having passionate conversations with Abarai about cars and music. And if his meetings with Byakuya were mostly filled with companionable silence or helpful advice, nobody had to know.

 

Kurosaki soon began to look better, but his visits to the manor increased so much that all of a sudden the guest room became Ichigo's room and his things began to appear more and more there. This sudden shift in the way they interacted wasn't missed by Byakuya. Nor was the fact that he almost looked for Ichigo's presence in the evening and dreaded the nights when he wouldn't be there. But if his past taught him something else as well. His feelings remained completely hidden under his blank face and his cold words.

 

"Yo, Byakuya! Can I have this paper signed straight away?" Speaking of the devil. A flushed fifth seat was behind him but Byakuya just waved her and she bowed reverently before closing the door behind him.

 

"Your manners are barbaric."

 

"Yeah, yeah, now sign here." Ichigo came around the desk and settled the paper in front of him. With a huff, Byakuya was about to sign when a sudden warmth spread across his shoulder, firm and callous fingers pressing gently on the muscle. Byakuya stiffened immediately. This had to be inconceivable. There was no way-

 

"Seriously, how long does it take for you to sign a document?"

 

"I need to read what I am signing for, your uncouth."

 

"Yeah, sure." Ichigo clapped his shoulder once and then went to the window. It was a bright sunny day like most days in Soul Society and the sun was almost burning its way through the windows in order to reach Ichigo. It seemed as mesmerized by the orange locks as anyone else in Soul Society. Perhaps the sun blessed the child on his birth for neither his father nor his mother possessed that particular colour. The young man closed his eyes as he inhaled deeply the warm air coming from the outside.

 

Byakuya looked hypnotized at Ichigo. The other captain had his eyes closed and his face appeared to be more relaxed than ever. The raven captain signed quickly the document and then he got up from his desk. He hesitantly reached for the young man's shoulder and his fingers clasped thin air as cold feet prevented him to complete the movement. But it looked as if Ichigo was not aware of the movement and Byakuya's torment, as he kept his eyes closed for what seemed like the longest of times.

 

Their breaths were almost soundless in the afternoon peace. Then gently, elegant fingers settled carefully on Ichigo's shoulder, their strength sipping through the white material of the captain's uniform and made the orange brat seem even more relaxed. Byakuya released a breath he didn't know he was holding.

 

"The document is ready."

 

"Do you want to have lunch in our spot today?" Ichigo asked instead startling him with his burning brown eyes, and Byakuya's breath faltered again. Yes, he and Ichigo sometimes had lunch in a special place, in the back of the garden, surrounded by cherry trees, almost a hiding place from the rest of the world. He didn't know that it had become 'their place' and for some reason it unsettled him even more. Perhaps the significance was not lost on either of them and yet they chose not to speak of it.

 

"I believe it is a good idea. I will send word to Kagure to prepare everything. Do you want something special?" The slender body leaned into him even more and Byakuya released his shoulder briefly just so he could put his arm around him pulling him closer. Both he and Ichigo needed this. These touches so familiar and yet so surprising in their occurrence. The brat was enjoying the new position even more and he closed his eyes again.

 

"I love the light in your office. It beats mine." He mumbled.

 

"I hope you won't take this as an invitation to start visiting me more often." Byakuya's strained voice sounded false even to his own ears.

 

"Rest assured I will not." Ichigo mocked him with a soft smile but still not opening his eyes, just leaning a bit more, their bodies touching hesitantly. There was a new story spreading through their gestures, and its meaning was developing under their very own eyes. They stayed like that for what felt like ages, Ichigo soaking in the sunlight, Byakuya soaking in his warmth, the gentle press of lithe muscles, delicious tanned skin pressed under his very own lips. If he would just lean further, just a little bit... He could sense Ichigo's untamed scent and he couldn't wait until lunch time would arrive so that they could share again that place.

 

When he finally let him go, the uselessness that he felt startled him but a smile from the young man and a gentle _see you later_ spread warmth to his body more than he would like to admit. He looked out the window, this time on his own.

 

Ichigo was not Hisana and the differences were almost overwhelming each time. He had loved his deceased wife with the passion entitled to only a man that fell in love for the first time in his life. Hisana seemed unconcerned with the expectations and his wealth and he thought that his love would be enough for he noticed her affection, but not her love. The feeling had burnt deeply in his life, with a power of what looked like it could have transcended even death.

 

How naïve he had been. Byakuya sighed and went back to his desk. To seek for Hisana's love had been futile from the very beginning, for she had had in her only sisterly love, and yet he had defied the council, the society and for what? For some crumbles of what could have only been described as fondness, nothing more, nothing deeper.

 

However, Ichigo was different. With eyes that burnt with truth and with passion, with righteous fire, with overwhelming sincerity. Ichigo with his uneducated laughs and jokes and sarcasm, with his orange locks. With eyes that laugh at him, with him. Ichigo who never took him seriously, because Byakuya had always taken himself too seriously. Ichigo with his hunger for touches, small caresses, claps on shoulder, hand-shakes, starving for it, sometimes initiating it without even thinking.

 

No, Ichigo was not Hisana. And he craved for Ichigo's fire more than he ever craved for Hisana. Oh, Byakuya Kuchiki was too much of a coward to name this new emotion spreading fast and deep within his soul. For the young man was not his and he was afraid that he might never be.

 

Life threw them in a routine of some sorts. Their meetings, their dinners became more frequent still, and the council men started to make overt questions. _How is_ _Captain Kurosaki_ _? Is he going to be joining us today? Shouldn't we discuss this with_ _Captain Kurosaki_ _and ask for his advice as he knows better this area?_ They were all innocent questions, but powerful through their meaning. For if the Kuchiki council men noticed their closeness, it meant that Soul Society was burning up with gossip related to them.

 

And surprisingly it was Rukia who confirmed his suspicions when they had lunch together one late afternoon as Ichigo was gone with a new mission in Hueco Mundo, trying to stabilize the connection between the two worlds.

 

"I am hesitant to address this matter to you," she began suddenly, face flushed with anxiousness "but Ichigo is my friend and you are my brother and I love you both most dearly. Your relationship fills me with joy but I don't want to see either of you get hurt. So please, dear brother, tread softly."

 

"Rukia, what relationship?" Byakuya snapped back, suddenly defensive. "Ichigo and I are just friends. We are far from being into a relationship."

 

"But I thought that all those nights-" She stuttered hopelessly.

 

"Your friend slept into a different bedroom. While I am aware that Soul Society has a gossip mill to rival all the realms, I thought that you as my sister would disregard the rumours."

 

"Nii-sama, with all due respect, they were backed with some strong evidence. I do apologize if I offended you, but believe me when I say that your behaviour made me not doubt what has been said."

 

"First of all, you need not to apologize to me but to Ichigo." At her new flush, he continued mercilessly. "And what was this evidence that you mentioned?"

 

"Well, the fact that he started to spend so much time under your roof, especially some nights, you share lunches and generally meals to which no one else is invited. Also he is relaxed when it comes to you and you never call him Kurosaki any more."

 

"It is because all of you refused to see that he was driving himself into the ground trying to keep up with us." This time Rukia flushed with shame. "It was Kagure that confirmed my suspicions. A servant, when all his friends saw him every day. He saved us and we were going to let him tire himself completely."

 

"But, nii-sama, you know how he is. He never listens to us."

 

"This is not a good excuse, Rukia, and you know it. He is a stubborn man, but I managed to convince him to take better care of himself. This man-"

 

"He is important to you." She said softly as she finally understood and her eyes, so much like Hisana's, filled with a new comprehension which cut deeply into his heart.

 

"We do not need to speak of this."

 

"I dare say just one thing and I use my right as a sister." She smiled sadly. "He has been wounded by the war far greater than he had let people believe or see. His innocence is lost forever there, but he has always looked up to you and it is no coincidence that he has let you get close to him. If your feelings stand true and deep, then don't let him in the dark. This isn't healthy for either for you."

 

She smiled again with the same melancholy twitching at her lips but she changed the subject to the affairs of Soul Society and for that Byakuya was grateful. Although her words made a great impression on him.

 

But the matters of the heart had never been easy for him to deal with so he let them boil at a steady fire until Ichigo's return when everything exploded.

 

It shouldn't come as a shock to him when the sources from the second division informed him that the council on that day was cancelled due to unforeseen events. Pressed by his incredible power, they confessed straight away that Captain Kurosaki Ichigo had encountered a huge army of Menos Grande, and tried to defeat them all by himself while his people retreated thus he was effectively wounded during the battle which he won, of course.

 

 _Wounded_ and _Ichigo_ in the same sentence shouldn't come as a surprise any more at this point but still upon hearing those dreaded words, Byakuya snapped. He arrived to the Division Four headquarters just in time to see an array of captains and lieutenants and seats trying to explain to captain Unohana that they suddenly got sick while at the same time trying to ask after Ichigo's health. Yet all of them were surprised when they saw him, so poised and determined and one look from Captain Unohana and he understood.

 

"Is it serious?" He asked without any introduction and all the others kept a deafening silence. The braided lady smiled sadly.

 

"No, but if he continues like this, I don't know how long it is going to take, before it will be more serious than we all expect." She looked around her at her colleagues and peers. "I understand that you are all concerned for Ichigo," everyone smiled abashed, "but there is no need to worry. The brash captain will be released this evening. Now if you please leave the premises... there are other soul reapers who have _real_ health problems that require my attention."

 

Nobody dared to face her wrath so one by one they all retreated. Byakuya was hesitant. His heart was lurching painfully in his chest, as if someone clawed at it, broke it into a thousand pieces and put it back the wrong way.

 

"Captain Kuchiki," the head of the fourth division said softly, "I can release captain Kurosaki now if you promise me that he will remain in your care and that he will rest at least for three days."

 

"Very well, captain Unohana." He replied trying to keep his face carefully blank.

 

"Don't act so nonchalantly, captain Kuchiki." Her frowned deepened. "The only reason behind my decision is knowing for sure that he will only listen to you and nobody else. You have an authority over him that nobody else has." Her hand gripped tightly his forearm. "When I say it is imperative for him to rest, captain Kuchiki, I do not exaggerate in any way. Please, bare that in mind."

 

"Yes, captain."

 

"Now", her face lightened up, "let's visit the young man, shall we?"

 

When they entered the room, Ichigo Kurosaki was dressed in simple white clothes, typical for the patients in the hospital. His orange hair seemed mated and there was a threatening white bandage covering half of his face. He looked gaunt, all the life sucked out of his body and upright fury burned within Byakuya like a pyre on which he would have gladly sacrificed that stupid brash kid. Because he was a kid, just a stupid kid who wanted to protect all at the cost of his own life.

 

"Oh, man, did you have to send for him?" The orange brat groaned as soon as he saw Byakuya, and he tightened his hands into fists for fear he might say something he would regret.

 

"Captain Kurosaki, I do believe captain Kuchiki is the only capable person to make you listen to my advice. However, if you'd prefer for me to send word to your friend, lieutenant Kuchiki, I wouldn't mind."

 

"No, captain." Ichigo visibly paled. "She would mother-hen me until I would die of too much attention."

 

"Then I would believe I made the right call in asking captain Kuchiki to be here for you. Please bare in mind, young man, that if I hear just one word from him that you do not listen to my or his instructions, I will keep you in the hospital for a month. And don't think I'm joking, Kurosaki-san."

 

"Yes, ma'am." Ichigo gulped and Byakuya's lips twitched in amusement for everyone feared captain Unohana, though nobody had the pleasure to feel the full power of her sword. Funnily enough, nobody truly wanted that.

 

He didn't add anything. There was no need. Ichigo and he travelled at home in silence, the young man most likely contemplating his brash actions and condemning them. Or at least this was what he was hoping although Byakuya was aware of Ichigo's true nature and such actions would never be possible in his book.

 

The servants prepared his room and the Kuchiki heir made sure that Ichigo was comfortably settled before he went and changed into something more comfortable himself. When he came back, he observed that the young man was watching listlessly out of the window.

 

"Do you know how many wounded were in my squad?" The voice was drained of any emotion and that righteous fury ignited in his soul. Again. Carefully keeping his voice levelled, he answered:

 

"Four, but not severely. You trained them well."

 

"Four?" He whispered as if Byakuya wasn't even there and that made him even angrier.

 

"Yes, four." He snapped and that caught Ichigo's attention.

 

"Why are you mad?" The captain had the audacity to roll his eyes at him, which in turn did nothing to quench that bruning wrath within himself.

 

"Do you have any concept of self-preservation, Kurosaki?" He bellowed, making warm brown eyes widen in astonishment. "Any? At all? Because I believe you don't fully grasp the concept." He punctuated every word by grasping Ichigo's shoulders and shake him a little. "Don't you see what you're doing to yourself?"

 

"Doing to myself?" Ichigo repeated confused.

 

"Do you believe that you are a good captain just because you sacrificed yourself for those people? Do you believe that your men learned something today about self-sacrificing or anything like that?" Byakuya took his hands away and stepped away. "They have learned that their captain dis-considers them, does not trust their capabilities, does not believe in their word as soul reapers employed to protect this realm and its souls. You taught them today that they are worthless as shinigamis."

 

The utter pain that shocked those warm eyes turned into raging fury in just seconds.

 

"And who asked to be a captain? Who made me a captain if not yourselves? I want to protect everybody, yet you put more and more souls to the plate. You add and you add to my responsibilities. I was an eighteen-year old kid when I died. What did I know about captaincy? What did I know about blood and tragedies and war? You people just ask more and more from me!"

 

"We just want you to take care of yourself! Is that too much to ask?" Byakuya carefully toned down a bit. "Ichigo, you can't protect everybody. It is not humanly possible. As a commander, people will die under your command, they will get hurt and they might perish. But that it is not your responsibility. They will learn their best on their journey. You have just to guide them through that journey."

 

"I just don't know what I am doing, Byakuya." Ichigo's despondency broke Byakuya's heart.

 

"Then you come to me. You ask for my advice." Byakuya's warmth soothed orange haired man's anxiousness. His hands settled on the fragile shoulders again. "Of course, you shouldn't necessarily consider me for this position. You can pick Rukia or Renji or captain Ukitake. But if I hear one more time about this nonsense of sacrificing yourself for your people, I will personally end you, Kurosaki. Is that understood?"

 

"Yes." He croaked and Byakuya did the unthinkable. He hugged the young captain. For a moment his breath stuttered and then arms came around his shoulders, a wet face nestled in the space between his shoulder and his neck and Byakuya realized that this was probably his first hug in more than fifty years and he was rather enjoying it.

 

Human touch, how mesmerizing and utterly dizzying it could be. He could have stayed into that warm embrace for ever, feeling that lithe body next to his, burning with a deep emotion that he was afraid to name. There was no turning back into the past, there were no do-overs, but he certainly didn't want to repeat the same mistakes with the orange light.

 

"Thank you." Ichigo murmured, lips touching lightly his skin and burning it, marking it as their own.

 

He didn't reply, just held a bit tighter being mindful of the young man's wounds.

 

After that, rumours began to float in Soul Society as Ichigo started spending more and more time with Byakuya. Most of them were pitying, some of them defying logic in Byakuya's mind. Apparently everyone was viewing his new protection of the orange brilliant as a political statement, as bringing more political capital into the Kuchiki clan. People were not happy. Byakuya least of all when those rumours pushed from behind back doors and into the streets, through his ranks and even higher up. He was so used to people being either afraid or simply disgusted by his old cold heart, that it came as a surprise when Ichigo took it upon himself to protect his honour.

 

"Captain Kurosaki, we meant nothing by it." He could hear one of the seats from the eleventh division crumbling into the dust of the road.

 

"Then what exactly did you mean?" Ichigo bellowed and Byakuya turned the corner to see the orange brat and his rampant spiritual energy making people kneel, even lieutenants of second and seventh division. "If I hear such non-sense from any of you again, I will personally make sure that not one of you will ever serve again in any division. Am I making myself clear?"

 

"Captain Kurosaki-"

 

"Am I clear?" He howled again. "Captain Byakuya had been nothing but an honourable protector of Soul Society and you tarnishing his reputation like this brings you no honour. If more, it makes me wonder what kind of people I am protecting."

 

He turned around his eyes wild with anger and Byakuya wanted nothing more than to kiss that surprised look on the young man's face when he saw him standing aside. He would probably have laughed at the asine faces that the people around made when they felt his spiritual pressure and then saw him, but Byakuya had no eyes for them.

 

"I believe that we were supposed to have lunch. What is the delay?"

 

"Nothing." Ichigo scowled again to the other men and then for good measure to Byakuya himself and then marched straight forward, past Byakuya. "Are you coming?"

 

Byakuya kept his regal composure, but sure enough he felt the need to slap him over the head.

 

"Ow, why did you do that for?"

 

"I do not need you to defend me, Kurosaki." He said icily as soon as they were out of the ear shot.

 

"I don't know what you are talking about." Ichigo blushed and scowled for good measure. "And besides, Byakuya, someone needs to defend you and your honour." He smirked and looked wickedly at Byakuya and the older man finally let himself led by the compulsion of playing games with the orange light.

 

"I don't need anybody to defend me."

 

"Even now, you don't get it, Byakuya, do you?" Ichigo rolled his eyes at him and they were closer now to the mansion, the solitude of the woods around them giving Byakuya a sinking feeling that there was something within that discussion that could potentially harm them forever, the sudden glimpse of hurt in Ichigo's eyes, the quick hush of it. They stared at each other like many other times, but it felt off, like Ichigo was hanging from one thread.

 

One split decision and then a warm press of lips, soft and pliant under his, full of wonder and dread at the same time. The contact stopped as brusque as it has began and Byakuya froze on the spot. Ichigo's face was flushed with such emotion that it broke Byakuya's heart. With those lips slightly parted, with those incredible brown eyes widened in shock, as if he didn't believe that he just acted like that, with his orange spikes looking softer than ever, Ichigo was the most beautiful soul that Byakuya had ever had the privilege to look upon in his entire long existence and it filled his heart with something that he was not ashamed to name any more.

 

"Is this what you call a kiss?" He didn't recognize his voice, its gravely texture sending shivers down the young man's body. He took a few steps until he was in Ichigo's breathing space.

 

"Well, why don't you teach me then, old man?" Ichigo's voice cracked. "Or are you-"

 

A second press of lips, this time with much force. The other lips were just as pliant and just as soft, but firmer in their conviction that the feelings were corresponded. Callous fingers tangled through his hair and Byakuya swallowed the moan of pleasure when his other arm pulled completely close to him that beloved body. For so long, Byakuya sought a person that wanted him for who he was, for what he stood for and this brilliant light of orange and rampant spiritual energy wanted him as his lips parted letting him almost savagely plunder his mouth, taste everything. Oh, it was more than fire and crisp mornings. It was love, the actual belief that this young man would stay through fire and death with him. He gently pressed soft kisses on his eyes, his forehead then to the tip of his nose, and his jaw.

 

"I will not lose you." Byakuya promised darkly into that delicious skin, his arms tightening, and getting the same reaction back. He would not say the words yet, for there was still such novelty to this new freedom of expression. But when he looked up and glanced at Ichigo, he saw more than the things he lost to the war. He saw a new beginning.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for any mistakes left. English is my second language and this is unbetaed.


End file.
